How to Stop Running on Caffeine and Guilt

How much do you relate to that meme? If you're like a lot of women, then I'm guessing the answer is that meme hit the target. Once you were done chuckling or laughing or nodding your head, did you feel a twinge of guilt or shame? While I would love to think you said no, I'm guessing you probably actually did feel that familiar twinge. Before we go any further, I want to encourage you that you are not alone, and that this struggle is a normal part of being a busy woman, especially if you're a busy woman who is also a mom. Children truly are a blessing, but sometimes the day-to-day grind of parenting can wear you down. If you're feeling like you're alone in your struggle, or that you're not doing as a good of a job as other moms, or that maybe you're not a great Christian, let me encourage you with this - you're not alone in how you feel, you're not less of a Christian because you struggle with feeling overwhelmed or burned out, and the fact that you worry about how good of a mother you are tells me you care deeply about being a good mom for your kids.

Stop Paying a Guilt Tax

Have you ever thought about it that way - that when you try to pretend to be someone you're not, you pay a guilt tax?

When you try to put on the "I'm fine" mask or the "Good Christian Mom" mask, you're hiding how you truly feel and when you do that, you pay a guilt tax. Rather than a tax that takes money from your bank account, this tax drains energy from your already depleted source.

Let that sink in for a minute.

You're probably running around all day long every day trying to take care of everything on your list. You never wonder why you're tired and worn out because you know it's due to all the energy you're spending trying to get things done.

But did you know that when you try to hide your true feelings, you're actually using even more energy? Hiding things, keeping things secret requires energy because you're trying to pretend you feel a way that you do not. Now does it make sense why you feel exhausted all the time? Why you joke about feeling wired and tired when you're not actually joking? It's because you're going into an energy debt!

Friend, stop trying to be a perfect mom. There is no perfect mom. There never was. She was a myth created long ago and is perpetuated today through carefully curated posts on social media. SHE DOES NOT EXIST!

Just like you wouldn't try to make yourself look like a photoshopped model on a fashion magazine, you need to stop trying to be the type of mom who exists only in your own imagination. Give yourself grace for being imperfect, tired, and human. God sees you for who you are, who He created you to be, and He loves you more intimately than you can imagine. Since the God of the universe looks at you this way, why do you continue to tear yourself to shreds? Stop paying a guilt tax and take your mask off. You're not perfect and neither is any other mom.

Give Yourself Permission to Rest

If you're like a lot of women I know, myself included, your default mode tends to be set at "Do More." This can be especially true when you feel distant from God. There is a misconception that praying harder and doing more will help you to rekindle that feeling of closeness. The reality is that staying in your default mode will cause you to feel even further from God, even more run down, and on the edge of burnout if not over the edge.

God doesn't expect you to be perfect, He never asked you to be perfect, and He absolutely does not judge you for not being perfect. This is the grace that covers all your sins and imperfections - the blood of Jesus Christ. With that reminder fresh in your head, look at the mess or chaos that surrounds you and tell yourself that even now, you are still a chosen and beloved daughter of the King. In fact, take 60 seconds right now to sit down, silence notifications, and focus on slow, deep breathing where you thank God for the breath in your lungs and this reminder that you don't need to do a thing to earn His love.

If you're looking for an easy way to make changes to your "too-fast rhythm," try this whenever you need it today:

Use the 4-2-6 method of breathing while sitting up straight or standing tall.

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds

• Hold your breath for 2 seconds

• Exhale through your mouth slowly for 6 seconds (like you're trying to fog up a mirror)

Repeat three times. While you practice this method of breathing, focus on how good it feels to think about nothing else besides the rhythm of your breath. Thank God for the strong lungs He has given to you and the oxygen He provides to keep you breathing. Find one more specific and personal item to give thanks for and then ask God to go with you through the rest of your day and remind you of His great love for you, His daughter.

The next time your inner critic starts to condemn you for not doing more, silence it by reminding yourself that rest is a gift from God, not a reward you have to earn.