5 Signs You're Ready to Move Beyond "Guilt and Caffeine" Culture (and step into Biblical rest)

It's a typical morning for you. You brewed the pot of coffee, poured your cup, added your favorite creamer to it, and had every intention of cuddling up with it on the couch as you slowly woke up to start a new day.

Unfortunately, a typical morning means that what you hoped would be your routine wasn't what happened. Your kids woke up, started playing, and quickly began running around the house, yelling, arguing, and leaving multiple messes in their wake.

Instead of curling up with your cup of coffee, you've been running after them, picking things up, telling them to play nice, be nice, say nice things, and now you feel it happening - the frustration building as you look at your now ice cold cup of coffee, the all-too familiar racing heart beat, and hear the words flying out of your mouth that release an immediate wave of mom-guilt because you snapped at your kids and it's only 8 in the morning.

What if this didn't have to be a typical morning? What if you've been accepting this is the norm for a mom of young kids because of everything you've seen and heard from your friends and posts you've read online in mom groups? What if I told you that a chaotic, caffeine-fueled life is not a "required" part of being a mom? Maybe you've already been thinking you want to find another way. If that's you, let this be an encouragement - God desires a life of calm presence for you - yes, even in the midst of parenting young ones. Here are 5 signs you're ready to leave guilt and caffeine culture behind so that you can experience and live in Biblical rest.

Sign 1: Your "quiet time" feels like just another item on your to-do list.

You know the feeling all too well. You've set aside time to have your devotions whether that's first thing in the morning, during nap time, or in the evening before bed. You've sat down, opened your Bible, and you're in the middle of trying to read the verses on the page in front of you, but they're not making sense because your mind is racing with grocery lists, chores, appointments, and other obligations. You can't seem to quiet that part of your brain so you can focus on reading the Bible and you end up feeling guilty for not feeling connected to God or His word. Your devotional time feels like yet another item on your to-do list and you don't want that to be your reality.

Sign 2: Caffeine has shifted from a fun morning treat to a survival mechanism.

Coffee used to be something you enjoyed drinking, especially with your favorite creamer - perhaps French Vanilla or a seasonal specialty. Maybe you even taught yourself to make a "fancy" kind of coffee so you could enjoy it at home instead of spending money on it at a coffee shop. At some point, your morning coffee went from being a treat to something you needed to survive, and now you need that physical stimulant or jolt to help produce the energy you wish you had naturally. Ironically, this stimulant also helps you to be more patient, but you know deep down there has to be another way, a better way to have natural energy and patience rather than heading straight for coffee.

Sign 3: You are physically present with your children, but mentally miles away.

Have you ever found yourself playing with your kids, only to realize that your mind is a million miles away? Maybe you were playing blocks on the living room floor, watching your kids play at a playground, or pushing them on a swing. You child said something to you or called your name and you truly didn't hear him until he had repeated it several times.

You can be physically present with your kids but mentally, you're miles and miles away because you're worrying about tomorrow, replaying your mistakes on a loop, or composing a list of the things that still haven't been done for the day. This is not the mom you want to be and you know you can do better because you want your kids to have the best version of you and you want to be proud of who you are, not hiding behind an "I'm fine" mask all the time.

Sign 4: You feel a constant, low-level nudge from the Holy Spirit that "there must be another way."

Have you been feeling that gentle pressure from the Holy Spirit to look for another way to find rest and stop running on caffeine and guilt? Maybe you've been feeling a holy discontentment with the hustle culture and you long for the "easy yoke" promised in Matthew 11: 29-30, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I'm guessing that you've felt that nudge and you want to be obedient. You've tried different things but so far, nothing has worked, which has maybe caused you to feel frustrated and long for help from someone to show you another way.

Sign 5: You are finally done making excuses for your own burnout.

You've decided you are not going to continue saying "this is just a hard season" because you are ready to change your habits. You want to take the actions to make positive changes with your boundaries, your routines, and your mindset. You are done settling, and are committed to doing whatever it takes to feel real presence and peace on a daily basis. You know this isn't pie in the sky or lollipops and rainbows thinking. You know it's possible, and you've made the decision to choose calm and presence over caffeine and guilt.

Now What?

Let me assure you that choosing to make the necessary changes to be a mom who is calm is absolutely not selfish. Think about it this way - when you are able to be calm and not snap, you can love your family out of an overflow rather than an empty cup. In fact, if your cup is empty, you don't have anything to give except fumes. You want the best for your husband and your children, and that means that choosing to learn how to be calm and present is the opposite of selfish - it's giving them the best!

If you're ready to start making the positive changes you want in your life, I invite you to talk with me to learn more about how I help Christian moms move from running on guilt and caffeine to living with true peace and presence.