When Motherhood Isn't Fun

There, I said it. Motherhood is not always fun. It's not always sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Some days moms wish they could change their name, run away, and live like a monk who has taken a vow of silence.

None of that means that moms don't love their kids with all the fierce wild abandon they feel in their bones. It just means that there are days that are beyond hard and our society hasn't made it easy to be honest and vulnerable about sharing that. I know because I used to hide my own frustrations and feelings of overwhelm. I did my best to present the face of a mom who loved her kids and found joy in every moment.

I thought if I allowed other people to see how truly hard some days and moments were, they would think I wasn't a good mom. If this feels familiar, then today's post is most definitely for you!

The Days are Long but the Years are Short

I've never heard a more accurate description of what it is to be a parent. The point that is politely hidden is that some days feel so very long because they are just not fun. However, the danger is wishing the time away because before you know it, that season of parenting will be gone and you'll wish you could have it back.

Now that my own girls are in their late teens, I have found myself missing some of the fun activities we used to do that they no longer find interesting. There's nothing wrong with that because they're older and childish things are behind them. What I miss are some of the simple and easy ways that we would all laugh together or do things together because they needed to be with us much more than they do now.

I don't miss the tantrums and timeouts and sibling arguments and constant messes. But I do remember being in the midst of those things some days and wishing we could jump forward to when those problems didn't feel like such major events.

In fact, I have a vivid memory of being in a store checkout line where one of my girls was throwing a fit because I wouldn't get something or other. This woman, who looked like she could have been my grandmother, walked up to me and said that I should cherish every moment because before I knew it, they'd be gone.

I am thankful to this day that I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell her what I was actually thinking. Why? Because what I was thinking was about how she didn't know what she was talking about and if she was in the middle of a crowded public space (a store checkout line) with her kid having a meltdown, she wouldn't be cherishing THAT particular moment.

Now, when I think back to that moment, I believe she was feeling the sorrow of not having kids at home with her anymore. Maybe her kids were grown with families of their own and lived far from her. Maybe she didn't have good relationships with them. I have no idea what her life was like, but I have a better understanding of what she was trying to say.

Let me be clear - there is no way you can or will cherish every moment. Please don't even try. But what you should be trying to do is to remind yourself in those tough moments and on those tough days that this is just for a season. Don't wish the whole season away because when that happens, you will be so focused on what comes next that you'll end up missing many good moments and days in the season you're in.

Friend, motherhood isn't always fun, but it is the most rewarding role you'll have in your entire life! Revel in the good moments and good days, cherish the sweet smiles and giggles. Hold onto hope on the rough days that this is a season that will pass.

If you need encouragement or advice, feel free to reach out to me and remember, you've got this, just keep going!