How to spot the 3 'spiritual counterfeits' you’re using to cope with exhaustion

Did that title catch you off guard? It wasn't meant to make you feel judged, but it was definitely meant to make you stop and think. All of us experience exhaustion, some more often than others depending on the stage of life in which we find ourselves. For example, mothers of young children probably find themselves running on fumes more often than not. Women who work a full-time job and then come home to prepare dinner and take care of their children at the end of a long day frequently find themselves feeling exhausted. Single women who take care of their parents, support their friends in times of need, give advice to adult children, volunteer, and try to find time for themself experience exhaustion. The point is, we don't need to compete to see who is more exhausted, we just need to acknowledge that we all experience this state of low energy. The real question isn't who is more run down, it's whether the thing that you're doing or relying on is a spiritual counterfeit or the real thing.

Spiritual Counterfeit #1 - Productivity

Productivity can be a good thing, but is it still a good thing when you're actually using it to escape something else? Stick with me for a moment and think about this. It's the end of a very long day, you've had to talk to too many people, run too many errands, spend too many hours at work, etc. You're finally home and you realize you feel exhausted and are trying to decide how to help yourself. A still small voice tells you to sit down and be quiet and listen - to rest.

But

You can't do that because whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, you know deep down that if you do that, you'll immediately start to wrestle with the thoughts and feelings that really need to be addressed that you'd rather continue to ignore. So, you head to your kitchen to do a deep clean, tackle that pile of laundry that's been staring at you all week, volunteer for a few more committees at church, offer to help organize an upcoming event for your women's group, and so on.

This spiritual counterfeit could also be referred to as the Martha Trap. Remember Martha and her sister Mary? Jesus didn't judge or condemn her for being busy, but what He did say to her was that while she was doing a lot of good things, she wasn't focused on the One thing that was needed - spending time with Him. Are you using service as a distraction from admitting you feel an emotional or spiritual emptiness or distance from God?

Spiritual Counterfeit #2 - Intellectualism

When you feel exhausted, you feel vulnerable. That's a simple fact. You don't feel strong enough to protect yourself physically, mentally, or emotionally. Sadly, this too often spills over into our spiritual lives as well. When we feel vulnerable, we jump to whatever we think will make us feel stronger, quicker, better, or whatever word fills in the blank for what we need. This isn't even a conscious decision, it's as natural as our unconscious breathing. Most of us don't even realize we made a decision until it's already made.

Another spiritual counterfeit that you might rely on when you feel worn down is intellectualism. That simply means that rather than being open and honest about your thoughts and emotions, you choose to retreat to the safety of studying the Bible from an intellectual perspective.

Maybe you listen to multiple podcasts that talk about the Bible or provide various topical studies or perhaps you signed up for a deep dive into a particular book of the Bible or a course that studies the Greek language so that you can better understand Scripture. While all of these are good ways to spend your time, are you using them as a way to feel like you're spiritually active when you're actually feeling spiritually numb?

Spiritual Counterfeit #3 - "Perfect" Prayers

First of all, there is no such thing as a perfect prayer, and you probably already know this and would willingly say this yourself. So let me explain what this spiritual counterfeit is first. This counterfeit is so good that you could actually deceive yourself if you choose not to look closely at your own heart.

Prayer is powerful, something we should do continually, on our own, with others, for others, and receive from others. Sometimes, however, we use prayer as a shield to keep people from looking too closely at us. Have you ever heard someone volunteer to pray for another and then use such beautiful language or prayer warrior language or "Christianese" language that when they were done, it never crossed your mind or anyone else's that they might be in need of prayer? This is what it can look like when perfect prayers are used as a shield or defense to keep people out.

If that last statement seemed contradictory, that's good because prayer should never be used to keep people away from you. Prayer is a word we use to describe our conversations with God, our Heavenly Father who created us, loves us, and knows us more intimately than we know ourselves. No child tries to create the perfect conversation when she runs to tell her daddy about her day or ask for help or cry about something that went wrong. She simply finds her dad and starts talking. Are you using your prayers as a shield to make others think that everything is fine when you're actually feeling exhausted, isolated, or empty?

Good News!

Remember at the start of this blog when I told you that there was no judgement or condemnation in this post? If you're feeling any guilt at this point, please stop. I meant it when I said that the point of this was not to point the finger at you and make you feel like a bad person. My goal with this post is to ask you some tough questions so that I can help you. If you're feeling tired, exhausted, worn out, run down, wired and tired, or any other word you choose to describe your current state, there is good news!

God is not far from you nor does He love you any less just because you may feel like those things are true. In Psalm 34:18, the Bible tells us that God is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. God always keeps His promises, so whether you feel it or not, you can know in your head and believe in your heart that God is close to you and wants to provide the tender mercies you desperately need. All you have to do is stop rushing around, stop trying to gain more head knowledge, stop trying to sound spiritual, stop whatever else you may be doing and just be. Just sit still somewhere quiet. Resist the urge to jump up and do something or turn on your phone and start scrolling. Take a deep breath. Take one more and begin pouring out your heart, your emotions, your deepest thoughts to God, your Abba, your Daddy. Listen for His voice and trust that He will provide what you need.